The Faulty FlipperKirklees Masters’ NewsletterEdition 6, Feb 1991
Mark Spitz v Matt Biondi
Look out for a spectacular head to head match between Matt Biondi and the old timer Mark Spitz, now aged 41 on April 27 at Los Angeles. They will race over 50m butterfly for a purse of about œ25,000, (The Independent). On the other hand, the Times says the race will be two weeks earlier, between Spitz and Tom Jager!
In any event lets hope none of them turn up to swim for City of Bradford at Richmond.
Sunderland
Twelve swimmers went to Sunderland on the 23rd February, eight chaps and four lasses. First and old timers together with good support from Jim, wives, sisters, sons and mums all cheered each other on to general and occasionally spectacular success.
All individual races were 50m.
Angela Sykes (A), swam off one or two more ounces, going flat out in the free 33.28s, and back 38.13, against tough competition.
Carol Todd (B), got a bronze in a PB of 42.46 (breast), and another PB in the free (36.34)
Trish Mellor (D) Got a silver and a PB in the back stroke (38.5), a PB and a bronze in the breast (45.38). We expect nothing less.
Wendy Offord (C) brought new meaning to the word graceful with a gold and a PB in the backstroke (38.06), and a silver in the free (34.16)
David Larkins (B), almost died of shock at his own success. Free 26.78 (Silver), Breast 36.35, Back 34.81. He expects to go faster when he gets fit! The Free time was perhaps our best swim of the day.
Tony Ruddiman (B) thoroughly enjoyed himself on his first time out, and amused several people in the free 29.51, fly 33.79, and back 35.7s. Again the freestyle time was very creditable, though proceedings were almost halted to refill the pool after his dive.
Kevan Brown (B) glode past just enough people to win a bronze in the breast 36.2 (PB). He managed another PB in the fly (33.4), and yet a third PB in the free (29.19)
Stephen Hepworth (C) was the only one to try his luck at everything. It wasn’t luck that brought him a gold in the free (30.02), a bronze in the fly (34.74) and a bronze in the back (34.41). He swam 42.24 in the breaststroke; his goggles did it in 42.5.
Trevor Thewlis (B) somehow managed 36.52s in the back stroke, 31.03 in the fly and 29.31 in the free, a personal best.
David Swarbrick (D) Plucked up courage and demonstrated his breast stroke to the assembly (49.29s). He managed the free 33.22, and fly 38.69 (PB). He was complemented several times for his dives, which perhaps tells the truth about what follows the dives.
The editor’s mum, Doreen (K) gets special mention for winning three silver medals. Unfortunately she swam for City of Bradford.
Team RacesThe Men’s 120+ ( Kevan, Trevor, David and Tony) won silver in the free style (51.5s). Trevor very nearly swam the last leg in his jumper. Lo and behold, a gold in the medley (58.17s). This latter race really was very exciting to watch.
The ladies’ 120++++++ team ( Trish, Angela, Carol, Wendy) came fourth in the medley (69.83s) and fifth in the free style (62.23s).
Your editor is personally very grateful to John Chaplin and John Ingham who both travelled all the way to swim in the 160+ teams. We managed 58.4s (10) in the freestyle team and 68.37s (11) in the medley. Well done John and John and Stephen and me.
Last but not least many thanks to Captain Jim for his support advice and encouragement. He enjoyed the mens 120+ medley race so much he forgot to do his splits. He was also kind enough not to time my breastroke swim.
Victoria Linton
Victoria fell into redundancy as her company sank without trace before Christmas. Thankfully she has risen to the surface again, with a new and she hopes better job. Unfortunately this job is down in the nether reaches of England, somewhere below Huddersfield. She is therefore lost to us.
Complaints – Cramp
Cramp is a very touchy subject. If this were a Heinecken advert, we might say ‘It reaches the other parts Jim cannot reach’. I hasten to say that by this I mean it seems to occur in those parts of the body such as the feet and lower leg which are not subject to great demands in swimming.
I was once told, by a man who clearly expected me to take him seriously, that bananas were the best thing. I did not ask whether they were for external application, for consumption before, during, after or just generally. Should one keep a supply on the bath side just in case, or perhaps keep an emergency supply stuffed down one’s trunks? (Please stop giggling Alison). One possible explanation is that bananas are the only legal source of quinine. How many one might have to eat to make any difference is anyone’s guess.
Excuses
I have been promised several excuses, but none have actually emerged; I just get excuses.
Wanted: A volunteer to try out the following:’Sorry Jim, I forgot my banana.’
Fly
I am sure that when I eventually work out how to do fly, I will enjoy it. For the moment, my style changes every time I swim it. Only the times stay the same.
Harry Gallagher, a famous Australian coach suggested that you start learning fly with the kick. He suggests 800m dolphin kick with flippers and a kickboard – twice a day.
For the arms Jim sometimes recommends doing widths without breathing using a kickboard between the legs.
Quick Checklist – Fly underwater armstroke1 Hand entry is outside shoulders2 Palms are pitched 45 degrees3 Elbows are slightly bent4 Hands move outward, pitched outward and backward5 Shoulders move downward and ahead6 Hands curve in, pitched outward, backward and downward7 Hands sweep down8 Hands sweep inward upward and backward9 Hands accelerate.10 Elbows bend out 90 degrees11 Hands curve outward, upward and backward12 Palms turn inward13 Hands slice out of the water
Arm Recovery1 Elbows flex slightly2 Hands leave water after elbows3 Hands swing around close to surface[From 'SportsPerformance']
[I now get on bended knee and beg someone else to write this bit. My embarassment floodeth over.]
CALENDAR
For entry forms and entries, please see Wendy, Trish, Kevan or Simon.
Lifts and maps can also usually be arranged.
March 1991
1 Closing date for Coventry7 Closing date for Richmond. More and more this looks like being much the best meet for quite a while. Go to it.19 Closing date for contributions to the Flipper. I should be so lucky.26 The next Faulty Flipper29-31 Coventry 50m pool. Go for one day, for two or three races. (0203 691088 for details) 120 mls 1hr 50m
April 1991
6 Closing date Darlington6 Richmond sprint meet – all ages – pleasant pool with 25m races. Even YOU can manage that! Note the date (NOT the 7th) 75 miles 90mins.
May 1991
4/5 Midland Masters Championship at Leamington Spa11 Darlington – Nice pool and a well run meet. Afternoon start. There are now rumours that this has been cancelled18/19 Yorkshire Closed Championships. Your chance to peg a place in the Yorkshire team (or to lose it). Simon says ‘Moooove it’ to get here. This is the big one.
June 1991
22/23 GB Masters Championships at Leeds. This is no longer the Leeds Open. This is your opportunity to race in a 50m pool. I believe attempts are being made to organize an open event, but this seems unlikely to come off.
29 Liverpool Masters Sprint Open. If you (wisely) chicken out of the GB Masters, try this one. Includes 25m races.
LATEREuropean Masters Championships
July 1991
August 1991
September 1991
Midland Counties Championships4-8 European Masters at Cardiff. For those who know not the meaning of hubris.North Eastern Counties championships at Newcastle?
October 1991
ASA National Masters Championships at Sheffield.
November 1991
8/9 Chester. This time to be held over two days. This might reduce the queue for the loo. I for one will give it another go? Leeds Marathon Swim
‘And they call this poetry?’
I tried a flip turn,from my back to my frontSaid Jim ‘What was that?Like a stunt with a puntOr a barge in a shunt.’
‘But I did try, Jim, Honest I did’
I tried to stroke outLike the rest on my breast,But my frog’s legs screwed up,I got kicked in the chest
‘Well I did try, Jim, Honest I did’
I reached out behind; by chance my hand fellon an innocent lane rope , Oh well,I’ll give it a tug, make sure its not brokeFrom Jims ears came steam (perhaps it was smoke)
‘It wer’ im Jim, ‘onest; not me’
Jim shouted out ‘Grab’But I thought he said Crab.So I dived on my sideAnd as water slapped flabI cried out in vainThrough the tears and the pain
‘I did try, Jim, Honest I did’
This web-site, and its contents, are the work of David Swarbrick. I speak not on behalf of BOK, nor BOK Masters, indeed for anyone. All compliments and complaints to David Swarbrick. Contact David by e-mail at dswarb’gmail.com. Created: 22 October 2001 Updates: 2 Nov 2001, 1 feb 2010
