The Faulty Flipper
Kirklees Masters Newsletter
Edition 4 Jan? 1991
Next Meet
After the debacle of Milton Keynes and the Christmas pud, the next meet is at Sunderland on 23 February 1991. We have several swimmers now who are about to go to their first meet for several years. DO IT. Get a form from Jim, or Kevan and get it sent in. Entries should be in for 16 January.
How was it for you, dear?
I am only new to the idea of sport as something you join in. I had asked myself several times what level of pain is appropriate. I then found this quote from Don Schollander:
“… it begins, … hitting your stomach first. Then your arms grow heavy and your legs tighten, the thighs first then the knees. You sink lower in the water because you can’t hold yourself up … the sounds of the pool blend together and become a crashing roar in your ears. The water takes a pinkish tinge. Your stomach feels as though its going to fall out, every kick hurts like hell, and then suddenly you hear a shrill, internal scream
Most swimmers back away from pain, but a champion pushes himself into agony.”
I wonder; how wise is this?
Complaint 4 Athlete’s Feet
Uurgh. A fungal infection of the lower extremities arising from not doing what mummy told you to do ‘Dry between your toes’ For the non-champions among us, it is in fact a fairly easy way to ‘push yourself into agony’ (see Don S above)
There should be a joke here about tri-athlete’s feet, but I couldn’t think of one worth printing.
Pub
A reminder that we meet at the Fleece at Lindley after Tuesdays training sessions. You will not be forgiven for reminding anyone of the old swimmers joke ‘I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on.’
Ask someone for directions or a lift if you need them.
Jim
Out of deference to Jim’s sensitivity, all jokes about him have been deferred. Don’t miss the next issue bumper crop.
Rule Changes
There are three changes to the laws of swimming agreed and to come into effect shortly.
On back stroke you were only allowed to swim 10 metres underwater without breaking the surface, but could break the surface with any part of you body. Now you will be able (lungs willing) to go 15 metres, but must break the surface with your head.
On a back stroke turn you had to touch the wall with your hand. Now the rule is the same as in free-style; you can touch with any part of the body (in my case a padded swim hat).
In the past each swimmer would be allowed a false start. The rule now will be that after one false start to a race, any swimmer false starting on the second start will be disqualified, whether at fault or not on the first occasion.
Most importantly recognise that different rules apply at different competitions. The above changes are to the international rules, not necessarily to the ASA rules under which most Masters Competitions are run.
Who are you?
Kay. Kay is the young lass (they are all young to some of us) swimming somewhere between lanes two and three. Kay’s main sport is Karate, and she started swimmimg with us to improve her stamina for that sport. She used to swim, and we have reminded her of all the joys of swimming. She is doing at least two things right, trying hard and getting faster.
She works for General Accident at Lindley in their Commercial Insurance department.
Swimmers Insults
‘If you could breathe through your arse as well as you talk through it, you’d be a better swimmer’
Distance Swimmers
Go to Liverpool. Get entrance forms from Kevan or direct from the meet secreatry – telephone 051 207 1243. Remember the closing date is 26 January 1991.
Harry ‘the Wheel’ Barrow, cane third in the National Finals of the Swim Marathons (5,000m). Well done Harry. Unfortunately, if you don’t know who Harry is, he left us several months ago.
Harry turned up again at Derby on the 15th December when John Chaplin and Gary Thewlis swam yet another marathon. John’s time was 1hr 30m 20?s, and Harry’s 1h 27m, Garry’s looked wrong. John won the competition for his age group, but ‘must swim faster’ next time.
CALENDAR
January 1991
16 Closing date for Sunderland
18-20 Swiss Cottage Masters meet. 36.66y pool. Sounds good, but a long way away.
25 Closing Date for Liverpool Distance meet For details ask David S or Kevan.
February 1991
16 Liverpool – Open Distance Meet 200m to 1500m. This must be the one for all the tri-athletes to have a bash at.
23 Sunderland Masters Sprint meet. All 50m races.
March 1991
Stockport. Has now been cancelled
29-31 Coventry 50m pool. Providing ‘goodie bags’ whatever they are. Still this sounds a nice way to get away from the family for Easter (0203 691088 for details)
April 1991
6 Closing date Darlington
Richmond sprint meet
May 1991
11 Darlington – Nice pool well run meet. Afternoon start
18/19 Yorkshire Championships. Your chance to peg a place in the Yorkshire team. This is the big one.
June 1991
Leeds Open
July 1991
August 1991
September 1991
Midland Counties Championships
4-8 European Masters at Cardiff. For those who not the meaning of hubris.
North Eastern Counties championships at Newcastle?
October 1991
November 1991
? Chester. Lets hope they have fewer swimmers and more loos. Nice because the 25 yards pool makes all the distances shorter. Some very good swimmers in startling counterpoint to the organisation
? Leeds Marathon Swim
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Created: 22 October 2001
Updated: 2 Nov 2001, 20 Jan 2010
