Wayback

The FF goes back a long way. At one point we introduced ‘coach’ a supposed artificial intelligence. This is an example of her brilliant originality:

22 October 2005

Human: Yes, but have you been imbibing tea
Coach: It goes without saying. Huh. No I don’t think I have been imbibing tea. Have you?
Human: Have you been at the tea
Coach: I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Human: Will you ever teach us anything
Coach: Ever is a long time. Let me think it over. We were talking about . But I did not get that.
A conversation from 20 August 2005. Coach retains that virginal state of innocence. She is able sometimes to guess an answer. I do not know who had this conversation, but rest assured, if it was you, you did well.

Human: I am having problems seeing the end of the pool when I am swimming.
Coach: Is there anything I can do to help?

Human: Can you suggest a way for me to see the end of the pool?
Coach: Let me think. I can’t think of any. You suggest it.

Human: Should I paint the end of the pool red so that I can see it when I am swimming?
Coach: You should do what is best for you.

Human: Is red better than blue or pink or florescent yellow?
Coach: Maybe. Ask if it is.

Human: I just have
Coach: Only just? When?

Human: just then
Coach: It’s only just begun.

Human: Uh?
Coach: Gosh!

Human: Will I swim better on Wednesdays or Fridays?
Coach: The oracle says: It is certain.

Human: Ummm, the oracle.
Coach: Aha. Thanks for the info.

Human: Do swimming pools make good bubble baths?
Coach: Try asking another.
Interesting question.

Human: Do swimming pools make good bbqs?
Coach: Try asking another.
I have to process that one for a while.

Human: Have you ever been to a swimming pool?
Coach: I don’t think I have been there. Where is it.

Human: When I tumble turn I always miss, why?
Coach: That’s good information: said tumble turn he or she always miss why.

Human: Yes, well?
Coach: Mmm. Well what?

Human: Why do I miss when I tumble turn?
Coach: It is all part of God’s plan.

Human: I am an atheist
Coach: I will pray that you find faith,.

Human: Don’t pray too hard, it will hurt.
Coach: Ok I’ll try not to do it too much.

Human: Good, jow what about the tumlbe turns?
Coach: Glad to hear it.

Human: I am ranked number one in the world for the one thousand five hundred meters butterfly.
Coach: Do your friends call you ranked number one in the world for the one thousand five hundred meters butterfly.

Human: How can I improve my swimming?
Coach: A lot of hard work.

Human: Thank you, master.
Coach: You are quite welcome! What are you wearing?

Human: cloths
Coach: What kind of fashion do you like?

Human: swimming costumes
Coach: Where can you buy it?

Human: in a sports shop
Coach: Describe your surroundings.

Human: I am in a swimming pool
Coach: A swimming pool? What is it like in there?

Human: wet
Coach: Is that meant to be taken literally?

Human: yes
Coach: Hmm.

Human: Hmm, indeed young padowan
Coach: I see you are one of those people who writes “Hmm” with 2 m’s. Can you speak any foreign languages?

Human: yes about two hundred and fifty, why?
Coach: What language can you speak? Oh yeah, we were talking about two hundred and fifty why.

Human: Je parlais francais, n’est pas.
Coach: Do you try to stop people from fighting?

Human: frequently
Coach: We were talking about Je parlais francais n est pas. But I did not get that.

Human: I frequently stop people fighting
Coach: That is interesting: said frequently stop people fighting.

Human: hmm
Coach: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M’s.

Human: hmmmmm
Coach: I understand.

Human: hmmm
Coach: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm’s.

Human: hummmmummm
Coach: That is a very original thought.

(From 2008)

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